The Results Are In

I had my appointment this morning to get my results for genetic testing for the BRCA1 gene mutation.

I’m positive.

Like my mom, I am positive. I guess I get to officially join the club. Do I get a t-shirt? In all seriousness though, it sucks.

When my genetic counselor gave my parents and me the news we all just kind sat there like, “what?” It didn’t feel real. Then emotion flooded my body. My mom put her hand on me. I couldn’t look at my parents because I knew I would lose it. So I just stared at the paper and read the word positive over and over again.

I wanted to keep my cool but tears managed to squeak out of my eyes. My hands were sweaty. I couldn’t think. All I wanted to do was keep my composure so I didn’t upset my parents. I didn’t want them to cry (even though they did). I couldn’t see them upset (even though they were). So I just sat there while my counselor talked about my next step.

Since I am choosing surveillance for now, not much will change in my life. I need to make an appointment to get a baseline MRI and/or mammogram. I will continue this monitoring along with pelvic exams until I decide to go further with cancer prevention.

Right now in my 20’s, my chances of developing breast or ovarian cancer are super low, like less than 2%. So I feel comfortable with exams for now. I am happy that my life will remain mostly normal for a while.

The thing that scares me the most is that one day down the road I will most likely decide to get my breasts and ovaries removed like my mom did. By then, I am sure the procedures will be different, hopefully better. But it is still scary to think about.

I know I’m lucky. Lucky my mom did not develop cancer and that her surgeries went well. Lucky that I got to see her go through it first, so I was better prepared. Lucky that this technology exists. Lucky that with all of these resources, I will probably not develop cancer even though this pesky gene wants to increase my chances.

Most of all, I am lucky to have my family, friends, Marcus and his family. I have an amazing group of people who love me and support me. I know my parents will always take care of me. I know Marcus always be by my side.

This is definitely not something that will rule my life. It will just something that is a part of my life. Crappy news…but it’s a beautiful day and I am going to have an amazing weekend, so I am smiling. 😀

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16 responses to “The Results Are In

  1. We will alway be there to support you! We love you and you have nothing to fear!

  2. That’s my Sunshine face mutant warrior! I love you!!!

  3. Love you TayTay!

  4. I know the feeling – when I got my results, I did the same thing, just sat & stared at the paper because I knew if I looked at my parents I would lose it. It’s definitely not the most fun news to receive, but you seem to have such a good outlook on things… that is huge & will definitely help you as you deal with this.

  5. Hey girl, I am a fellow mutant who is willing to jump on your bandwagon. I dunno if your mom shared anything about me to you, but I am 28. I just recently(Jan of this yr) had not only both of my breasts removed but also my ovaries. My situation is a little different than you because I am married and had finished childbearing, but I wanted to offer a shoulder if you need it. I’ve had some complications along the way, but am puttin’ along on this rollercoaster. =) Hope you have a great weekend. If your weather is anything like mine(South Fla), enjoy it and remember to let your mind have a breather from all of this BRCA stuff once in a while.

  6. Taylor,
    So very sorry that you also have positive results. Just as you have that gene, never forget the GOOD , STRONG genes you also inherieted from your mother. Your mother as you well know, is so strong. Being her cousin, and many miles between us through the years, I have not been able to be a big part of her life. But, I can tell you….that from my opinion, she is an amazing woman! Her strength stands strong as an example to me. I love her. I know without a doubt, she will be your pillar of strength always. Continue to lead your life strong and happy….YOU know how. Love, Regina

  7. I LOVE LOVE LOVE you Taylor Martin! You are not only one of the best friends I was fortunate enough to make in college, but you and Lu are like sisters to me. We don’t see each other often, but when we do, it’s like we were never apart. I admire your strength (as I’m sitting here crying) and the woman you have become since we met freshman year. This will not slow you down but make you stronger as a person and I will be here no matter what for anything you need! See you tomorrow jam! 🙂

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  9. You are a wonderful brave young woman and I enjoyed your blog. I am BRCA 1+ and I have gone through the same journey as your mother, with the exception that my daughter tested negative.
    My thought on this is it does not give her a “free pass,” and I hope it does not give her a false sense of security. They say, only 20% of women will test positive for the BRCA gene, so what about the other 80%?
    You have a wonderful attitude, great family, and it seems like a great support system. You are smart, beautiful and seem truly kind-hearted. I wish you great health and happiness.
    I am not sure how I found out about your blog, but it appeared on my Facebook page. Perhaps you or your mother participated in my BRCA+ pt survey a few weeks back? The results from women under 34 were staggering– I never expected the numbers to be so high. Bravo to you for getting tested and for posting such a positive blog.
    If you haven’t seen the results to the survey and would like to, let me know and I will be happy to supply them.

  10. Taylor, we, too, will always be here to support you….what a beautifully written account of that horrible time…It made me cry! lol! Join the club, right? Love, Jen

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